My brother, Josh

So I'm almost done with my first year of college. There is a period there b/c I am not very excited about it. It's a weird feeling, I feel really older now, and I don't want to feel older. I want to be the awesome youth pastor that acts just as cool as the youth in it. I know what its like to sit in a youth room with an extremely uncool youth pastor. It's not fun, but I guess that older is kinda better. I mean I look at my brother who is 13 now and I can seriously talk to now about lots of things. We played catch outside the other day and talked about baseball and how the Yankees got a new pitcher named Wang, and he knew more about the game today than I did. I felt this awesome connection with him that I have never felt before, mainly b/c I he was always trying to get a rise out of me, or I was making fun of him or something to that extent. Anyway the point is that He is growing up and I have stuff that I can tell him not do b/c I have experienced what happens. I couldn't do that 3 years ago b/c he would not have listened to me and probably thought that I was picking on him and trying to boss him around, but he listens now, and I think that it is b/c he knows that I am older than him, and know a little more than him in some areas.

Wow, I guess I kinda am a little excited about what is happening. Its funny how actually thinking about things and writing them down might change your mind about said things. It still sucks though, I have 3 more years left. And college ain't cheap, but I firmly believe that it is all worth it. I am getting the proper training and learning more and more about God here everyday. Not saying that you have to go to CIU to learn about God, I'm just saying that it is helping me.

okay...

So yeah... I have not written on here for a couple of days. I didn't want to seem like a weird-o who blogs everyday of his life even if it just consisted of him making toast and doing laundry. I don't want to be that guy. I don't really want to be any guy, I just kinda thought of that. I don't really want to be labeled. If you haven't caught the purpose of this blog (which is just me writing stuff that I think about, and stuff that has spoken to me through being a student here at CIU) then I am sorry and don't mind if you don't subscribe. Anyway, I really don't want to be labeled. It sucked in HS b/c I was the President of the Student Body (not bragging, trust me). So I got labeled as the Popular Guy that played football and was a good Christian guy. I didn't really like that.

We kinda just talked about this sort of thing in my acting class last Tuesday night. I asked the question why is there no really good Christian Movies? I mean don't get me wrong, Left Behind is okay, I am not knocking on any Christian film makers, but we really don't have a Christian Media culture that is of good quality. I know that we have tons of magazines and books, but I am talking about movies, plays, music even. How come any band that wants to be played on the "Christian" radio stations, has to sign with a Christian label, or proclaim all the time, non-stop that they are a strictly Christian band. Some times in life there are going to be times that you aren't going to want to trust God. (you should always want to, but that's not the point) There are times that I wanted to ask God why he did things. And yes, I have been extremely mad at him before, and felt so far from him, not knowing that he is right there with me. What if a band wants to write a song like that of Job, yelling at God, demanding things, b/c its real, and if you are a follower of Christ, you can't really say that there has been a time in your life that you have doubted Christ, been mad at him, or have wanted something from him that you know isn't right. And if you have, please contact me b/c I really would like to talk to you.
Sorry..... I kinda ranted there. I guess the basic principle that I am trying to get across is that art should speak to you, and the artist should do that art the way that he feels he wants to do it. If that artist is a follower of Christ, then Christ will shine through that art to the viewer/listener. And if it doesn't, if that artist was having a bad day, and did something that might not portray Christ in such an awesome way, then that is real! People need to see that Christians are real people, and we don't always sing "Lord I lift Your Name on High" all the time!! We screw up! We have bad days, we are not perfect. Trust me on this one, they know that we aren't perfect, they are looking at us non-stop usually anyway to see if we are. Wow, that's a lot of writing. Any comments or questions are gladly accepted.

Morph 2

I lost my voice....... I have a headache..... but the glory of God was revealed tonight to a number of teenagers!! It was awesome, we had a guy named Stuart Hall speak (Picture), he was awesome and really got through to the teens. I learned a lot about myself, the fact that teenagers respect me is really kind of neat. I guess in a sense I feel older, more mature. But I also saw what I will be working with in a couple of years. The teenagers scared me to death. I had one that wouldn't stop flirting with every boy in the room, one that wanted to walk away every time I turned my back, and one that was just plain destructive. I honestly asked myself if I was really like that when I was a teenager. I think I was. Throughout high school I was the guy that everybody knew. The funny guy that wasn't nasty or rude to anyone. I didn't belong to a click, even though I did played football, I wasn't considered a jock. I was in acting, and I wasn't considered the art freak. I enjoyed FCA, but wasn't classified under the "Christian Group" ( see post entitled Morph). I was really just a social butterfly (thanks Ruele for the word). I then became president of my high school and everybody knew who I was at the time. So I look back, and wonder was I stuck up, was I inconsiderate, was I a prick? I don't think that I was that way and my friends said that I wasn't. But what bothers me is that I know that I didn't reflect Christ in my high school the way that should have. I want to instill the tens that I work with that they need to do that! They really need to have Christ in their hearts and be meditating on him constantly, so that he will shine through, or to go with the metaphor, he will be reflected. I can't until I have a group of my own, so that I can shape their minds, and see Jesus shape their hearts. And if I mess up, well that is why we have a psychology department at CIU........

Short

Soooo..... I have to be at breakfast in 10 min. My back aches and my throat is really starting to bother me. I am ready for what the day has to offer though. I know that I can push through it all, i mean really I worked at summer camp for 4 years. I really want to see some change in these kids lifes. Even if I am just sowing seed, I would really like to see if the ground takes that seed or not, metaphorically speaking. If anyone is reading this, please pray for these Kids, pray for teenagers that follow Christ all over the US, that they my grow closer to God. Now I have to be there in 7 min.......

Morph

Its the 1st night of the 1st day of morph weekend here at CIU. Morph is were high school kids and youth pastors come out and learn about God for an entire weekend. The theme is kinda like seeing how you, as a follower of Jesus, is reflecting him to other people. Are you truely showing others who Christ is by your actions, your words, your work. Everything you do is a reflection of who you think Christ is. That is taking it to an extreme, but it needs to be taken to an extreme. If we as followers of Jesus Christ, want to clear the name "Christian", which has been twisted by or culture to a degree in which it doesn't really mean what it started out to mean. In our culture it means to be a good person, a person who goes to church, a person who doesn't have a potty-mouth (you must use these words when working with youth), a person that borrows your lawnmower and brings it back when they say the would clean with new blades and a new air filter. I mean honestly, I can go all day about who our culture thinks Jesus is just by saying how they view Christians. The point of the lesson tonight was to not be Christians, in our cultures standards, but to be followers of Jesus Christ. But my Family Group did win the big game and got some wicked sweet trophies.

The 1st and certainly not the last

Hello all, I'm Robbie and I'll be your blogger today........no that sounded stupid.........any way I don't really have a great way of starting a blog, actually this is my first blog. I mean I have a Facebook and all but who dosen't now. Well come to think of it facebook has over 69 million users, not more then 70 million becuase they probably would have said that, and the population of the world is at around 6.5 Billion, that means around 643,000,000 don't have one. Well, thats cool and all but the actual purpose of this blog is for me to inform you on things that have crossed my mind or things that I think are just plain stinkin' awesome. So look forward to more....